A post about a dark side of me.

this week with the death of Sissy Hula Girl’s sister in law.Brings me to this post.I too have had thoughts of suicide in the past,my first attempt came when I was stationed on aTempory Duty Assignment(TDY those that have served in the military know these initials all too well.) in Tiawan.
I have made several attempts by using an overdose of the meds I have taken. I even tried to hang myself.Each time I have failed at these attempts.I am grateful for these failures.
After one such attempt I was placed in a psych ward by my doctor at the time where one of my sisters said to me “how can you do this to our Mother”.I told her that my attempt was to kill the person I most hated,myself and it was a selfish act and at the time I had no reguard for may one’s feelings.I told her that I did not need to be attacked this way and walked out of the visiting area back to my room.
Bottom line is that I am doing a lot better now,and like drinking I know that these thoughts will come back to me.It is how I address these thoughts that are important.I now have phone numbers to call 24/7 I will go to the emergency room for help as well. I love life and I have a lot more peace that I have had in the past. I also have all my friends that live in my computer that I can turn to as well.
Bottom line,if you are having problems Please for GOD’S sake reach out to someone,ask for help.you do not need to use a perminate solution for a tempory problem.I learned this Please do this for your self as well.

9 Comments on “A post about a dark side of me.

  1. Those kind of visits in a psych ward are definitely not the best, I don\’t know why ppl don\’t understand, but some just don\’t get it. It\’s about you not them, but ppl take this stuff personally for some reason, and the last thing we need is a guilt trip then!I think you are right about how you address/handle your feelings is key to how it can\’t take over, and how you can take steps to remain in control. I called a hot line once, and have been there.Have a good day today.

  2. Congrats on the award below!I\’m glad you have made plans to address those thoughts when they come. That\’s a huge thing.

  3. Stephany,my sister is a great person,sometimes she just does not think about what she is going to say.that was not the first time she laid a guilt trip on me when I was down.Mari,thank you on the congrats on the award.I do not think I will act on theses feelings again,but one can never tell.

  4. Mike,I tried to kill myself as a withdrawal symptom. It\’s different but please: call a hot line.Don\’t forget it okay?CALL A HOT LINE!Ana

  5. My youngest son took an overdose a couple of years ago but thankfully the police found him and got an ambulance. It broke our hearts that he felt that bad but felt unable to come to us. I told him that whatever made him feel that bad wouldn\’t last and absolutely nothing was worth giving up your life for. He agreed and is now happy. I feel for you Mike, I hope you never have those bad feelings again m\’dear. x

  6. Akelamalu,it has been a few years since I got that bad.Hopefully I\’m on the right course of medications.

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