With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and the acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations later this year.
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R Grace Co. will merge and become ~~ Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros, and Zesta Saltines join forces and become ~~ Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become ~~ MMM Good.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Defasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become ~~ ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS and become ~ ~ FedUp.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become~~Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become ~~ Knott NOW.
8. Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name~~ TittytittyBangBang.
9. Simplicity Patterns and publishing giant Simon & Schuster will be known as~~Simple Simon
10. A merger of the Bush Bean Co. and Maria Callendar Foods will produce~~Same Shit Different Day
With a tip of the hat to Hale McKay for this one.