A Thought About ME!

The last several months have been trying as all hell! August 13th 2020 was the last day that Celestine was ever home. She got a condition called DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) , causing her to black out and fall. I had to call Cleveland EMS out here a second time in one day the first time was a super low blood sugar, that was about 2:00 PM. We were getting ready to go to bed about 8:30 PM when she said that she did not think she could make it upstairs that night and would sleep in her recliner chair, so I said I would stay downstairs as well and slept in my recliner chair as well she got up to go to the half bathroom we have on the first floor when she tried to go back to her chair she got really weak and called out for me to come help her. As I was trying to do just that she passed out and fell, so I had to call for the EMS to come help. She was taken to metro health E/R. and kept at the hospital.

She was there about 2 weeks and was told she needed to go for rehab. at that time we told that she need a stair chair put in here at the condo and we decided to do just that. She was there about a week and a half when she had another episode of DKA she was sent back to Metro. for there she was sent to a rehab facility again 2 weeks later a 3rd episode of DKA, back to metro again. About this time they told her that she had about 6 Months to live, so Palliative and Hospice care was recommended.

Instead of going back to a rehab facility it was decided that she would just get Hospice Care. It was also determined that she would not be able to come home and the decision was made to take her to a hospice care facility. I was having a bad day at this point wanting to start drinking and that when my Cousin Keith called and asked how I was doing and I was honest and told him what I felt like doing, he said stay put he’d be right here. I am glad that he came because that’s when I got the call the Celestine was being transferred that Sunday to one of the western reserve hospice homes,I was given the choice of the South Euclid Facility located in an area that might have been hard for me to get to or their new facility in Westlake. I chose the Westlake.

Then on October 15th I got a call about 2 PM that Celestine had gotten worse and that I should think about coming. I had to wait about 6 hours before I could go due to taking a water pill in the morning with my AM medications. Sister and Mom went right away to the facility I got there at bout 6:30 PM at 8:00 PM her sister said maybe Ma should go home for the night. I said I would stay the night with her and I did. Sometime on the 16th between Midnight and 1:30 AM my Celestine Went home to our Lord. She requested that she be laid to rest wearing her wedding dress and my Mother in law & Sister in law wanted her to have a rosary as well.

I have been doing Ok sometimes and other times the world comes crashing in on me and it hurts like hell that the love of my life is not here in this condo with me.

At least I have her pictures, I have her memories locked away in both my heart and mind. That has to be enough. At least I have my Screwbll to keep me company.

I will  be laid to rest wearing my suit that I wore when we got married as well and my one and only Medal that I received when I completed Basic training. The National Defense Medal and Ribbon.

And of course all my different Challenge coins will go with me as well. That day is somewhere in the future and not anytime soon.

Until than I will just keep plodding along one day at a time and if the need arises ONE SECOND AT A TIME!!

AND GRATEFUL FOR EACH DAY I WAKE UP!! AND I THANK GOD FOR THE DAY I HAD THE GOOD THE BAD OR THE INDIFFERENT. AND WHEN I GO TO BED I SAY PRAYERS FOR EVERYONE IN MY LIFE AND THOSE THAT DON’T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT ME, OR DON’T TALK TO ME AT ALL.